I’m feeling better about going back to school in 1.5 weeks. I talked to the therapist about my anxiety. I told her how the anxiety is so bad that I get sick and unable to eat or sleep. I can’t really speak for the stomach pains I have right now, but come next week, I think will be able to handle it. The therapist said I can’t let the anxiety overwhelm me. It’s ok to cry for a brief time but I can’t do the usual curl up in a ball and sob like I normally would have done. I need to learn to keep myself busy and get back in the groove of school and such. I need to keep joining clubs and participating in the Boston Society of Spontaneity. Besides keeping me busy, these things are a way to meet new people, guys in particular, so I can continue on the road to leading a “normal” life. I think that this promise of a happier future will serve me well…Keep me going.
Today I had to keep myself going while driving to therapy. I had to get there from home and made the usual wrong turn, at the exact same spot I always make the same mistake. This time I didn’t burst into tears. I simply cursed incessantly and found my way to therapy. My on edge driving today makes me nervous to drive myself to the beach tomorrow. Not only is it two hours of driving in two different states, but I’ll be driving the Acura….The most impossible car to drive because it goes much to fast for me. I’m so nervous, but I think I can do it. I’m also thinking a lot about how I’ll be home alone tonight at the house which always creeps me out. At least it means only one night alone at the beach house….Which is haunted.
